Now, I Take The Backseat

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                    Me (left) with my colleague Lyna (right) in UST during a Chorale Competition in 1996

I have always been a performer on stage my entire school life. Name every contest, school programs or concerts from elementary up to college days, my name was written in every program invites year after year whether its a competition or performance. I always volunteer myself to be part of the program or sometimes luckily picked by teachers. I don’t know but the stage for me then seems like a whole new dimension where all I could see was myself and the role I am portraying and everything around me was a big blank. And I feel better each time I perform. It gave a certain level of satisfaction for me which was all good. A feeling that I have accomplished something for myself that I can be proud of. But just like any shows, stage curtains do fall off after every performance. As it closes, the real world opens.

                                                   Bielle’s Christmas Presentation in ICA as Kinder 1
                                                  Kate, her Ate’s no 1 fan during the presentation

Work, married life and kids. These are now my realities. No more fake roles, no more lights, no more make-ups, no more extravagant costumes and no more repeat performances. Eventually you will come to embrace what you have in front of you. Responsibilities and relationships, these are now real. There’s no scripts, no more retakes, no more practices and no more series of shows. We face life now at one take only. But we can tell our beautiful stories to anyone, right? This time around I am already starting the story-telling to my own kids. 

                                                       Bielle, Buwan Ng Wika Presentation 2018
                                      Kate during her Ballet Performance in 2017
                                                                    Bielle, Buwan ng Wika 2019
            My beautiful Kate during her presentation in Buwan ng Wika 2019

I am now taking the backseat. This time around I watch as I allow myself to be their mentor, costume designer, chaperon, water girl, make-up artist, hairdresser, photographer, financier, PA and fans club president. When I was the performer, all I see in the audience was a blank picture. Now that the role has reversed, all I see now are colors. My eyes are hooked only to my kids and nothing else. And as they perform on stage, all smiles surround my face. I didn’t know that the view now is more beautiful in the backseat than when I was on stage.